Flash Fiction Friday: Dark and Deep

Madison Woods provided another great writing prompt this week and I’m happy to present my latest 100 word story based on one of her photos. Details about entering Flash Fiction Friday can be found over here.

Kind of went for my very first instincts this time. It still went through quite a few drafts (hope that shows, or doesn’t…) but I’m happy with the final result. Please feel free to comment with your responses to it, I always read them and make an effort to go through and read everyone else’s by the end of each weekend.

Don’t forget to also check out Madison Wood’s entry for the prompt on her blog, right here!

Flash Fiction Friday, Sunset White Branches, Madison Woods, 100 word stories, horror stories
Sunset White Branches photo by Madison Woods

Dark and Deep

Branches raked my arms. The forest is unforgiving. Trembling in the dark, I come again upon a stone marked with ancient carving. I sink to my knees before it and pray to my god, or theirs, to release me. My shotgun long lost, the creature’s blood is still sticky and pungent on my hands and neck.  My stomach growls. I am so thirsty. Exhausted, I soon fell fast asleep beneath the stone’s deep blue shadow. Waking at the touch of a leathery paw. The moon is shrouded. Powerful reek of animal filled my nostrils. I have no breath to plead…

Earlier Flash Fiction Friday Entries:

Send in Mitsy

Cellar Wall

Bloody Jewels

Reading the Bones

Broken Mushroom

Flash Fiction Faction (Thursday challenge run by Quill Shiv) Entries

Aunt Edie’s Bunker


Flash Fiction Friday: Dark and Deep

Rewrites and the value of feedback

So, the first draft of ‘Sleepers in the Sand‘ has been done. That was relatively easy; the story pushed itself out into the world, creating something nasty which will hopefully appeal if you’re into horror, at least on first glance. It’s not a classic, but I want to be proud of it.

The gist of ‘Sleepers in the Sand’ (working title) is that a boy is on holiday at a fishing village with his parents. He meets a girl and after a while, even though he’s a bit sick of her, he decides to go with her to a secluded spot where they can make out. Then it goes slightly Wicker Man.

I’ve shown it to two people I trust and the feedback seems to be:

Character motivation. It wasn’t clear why the boy acted the way he did.

Setting. Emphasis on the location of the story, more description

More buildup. This ties in with creating the setting and establishing a greater sense of atmosphere, perhaps making the setting for the horror contrast more with the holiday setting

Too nasty. While this is a valid criticism, ‘Sleepers’ is a horror story, but the criticism involved me doing ‘more with it’.

There were other criticisms more specific to moments in the story, which would be fairly spoilery to relate now. Suffice to say, I’m still thinking over the feedback and a reworked, buffed up and sweetly despicable new version is percolating in my head.

I have other stories to work on, as well. Some are horror, some are more fantasy-sci-fi based, and I think one is going to dabble in crime or noir fiction. More on that lately.

What I really should do is redraft ‘Asteroid Blues’, as not having it complete is giving me heartburn. Now that’s a thought…

Rewrites and the value of feedback