Flash Fiction Friday: Wire Pilgrimage

A sinister image for this week’s prompt. It conjured up connotations of death camps, suffering and gruesome horror movies. And I totally went with that! Bit of a post-apocalyptic spin, I feel, too. Open to interpretation anway.

Madison Wood’s response to her photo can be found over here.

Madison Woods, Barbed Wire, Flash Fiction Friday, 100 word challenges

Barbed Wire by Madison Woods

Wire Pilgrimage

The Monster’s Martyrs are bound into a single, agonised unit of pain and forced to walk ten miles together for the annual sacrifice. This year they used razor wire. I recognise my poor brother staggering amongst them. A few pray, some sob; my brother curses, lifts his head to swear at the sky so wounds pour again. Dried blood has patterned obscenely on his flayed skin. Their suffering makes His mouth water, I’m told. Shuddering, I hide in the shallow grave I dug by His rusted tower, clutching the grenade tight, awaiting His appearance. This will not happen again.

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About Joanna K Neilson

Create or go mad
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23 Responses to Flash Fiction Friday: Wire Pilgrimage

  1. Dark indeed and makes me want to know more about what happens, it sort of reminds me of HG Wells ‘Time Machine’ too. Good Job. Mine is here if you want to see it: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/04/27/friday-fictioneers-torn-flesh-rendered-mute/

  2. Sandra says:

    I look forward to your posts Joanna, they’re always so inventive and this week is no exception. Great one, a mix of old and new (monsters and grenades) and a feel-good factor at the end. HE is going to get HIS at last. Loved it.

    Mine’s at: http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/trespass/

  3. seanfallon01 says:

    That is twisted and vicious and nasty and I loved it…”Their suffering makes His mouth water, I’m told” – That’s the good stuff

  4. This was quite intense. I liked the picture you painted. I pray your narrator can end the reign of His torturous ways…

    ~Susan (here’s mine: http://www.susanwenzel.com)

  5. Great description of her brother’s defiance. You definitely evoked ‘scary’ for me. Nice job!
    Mine’s here: http://bit.ly/I78fA3

  6. pinionpost says:

    Dark, scary — and conjured up such a clear picture of the story world for me (even though it left me with so many questions). Nicely done!

    My first (but definitely not last) try at one of these: http://pinionpost.com/2012/04/27/the-letter/

  7. elmowrites says:

    There is something almost biblical about this procession; it conjures up images which clearly show us which side we should be on and I was impressed by the narrator’s strength of both character and purpose. Well told throughout, and a completely different take on the picture.
    I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/friday-fiction-soul-memories/

  8. siobhanmuir says:

    I liked the hope implied in this piece regardless of the horror. One way or another it won’t happen again. Nicely done, Joanna.

    Here’s mine:

    http://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2012/04/another-200-words-for-fridayfictioneers.html

    Siobhan

  9. Gary says:

    But will a simple grenade be enough to kill this dark fella? There’s certainly a lot that could be done with a longer story here, which I would love to read.
    I’m not normally one to advertise but you should see The Cabin in the Woods if you haven’t already, from what I’ve seen of your writing, I’m sure you’d love it! :)

    Here’s mine for this week:

    http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/fridayfictioneers-hunterhunted/

  10. Deliciously Defiant and Dark–loved it. The “he’ll-get-his” at the end was perfect.

    Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html

  11. Mike says:

    What a wonderful piece of writing.
    The anger, torment and suffering gripped you as a reader.
    Like Elmo above I couldn’t get away from the parallel with the biblical story of the crucifixion.
    A great read – thanks.

    Here’s one of mine:

    http://mjshorts.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/the-frightened-mob-a-100-word-story/

  12. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Joanna,

    I wonder what her brother will think of her when all is said and done. Great story for a sinister prompt.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  13. writelindy says:

    Dark indeed and gripping. Loved it.

  14. JKBradley says:

    Who is He? Will the grenade do the job?

    I liked the visual. Well done.

  15. susielindau says:

    This is excellent! It gave me shivers! Wow. Hiding in the grave with a hand grenade. Awesome!

  16. Stacey says:

    Now that was an interesting take (and well-written)… Franky’s monster, I presume?

  17. Russell says:

    Great story, Joanna. My mouth is watering to see if the grenade does the trick. Beautifully descriptive writing. I look forward to reading more from you.

  18. Boy you took me right in…and I did NOT want to be there at all. Beautifully written and wonderful horrific! Great work
    Sussan de Allura

  19. sphrbn says:

    Ohhh, I love post apocalyptic stories, and this one is no different, great take on the prompt.

  20. sacha1nch1 says:

    good story; and with the feeling that the term ‘monster’ could well be figurative, you’ve got lots to play with

  21. Andy Flood says:

    I loved this story and thought it was seriously well written. You convey dark, deperate imagery really well and the whole thing had a Lovecraftian modern vibe. Definitely a parade of madness, seeking to appease an unknowable god/entity of power. Very nice work.

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